The next two weeks will be devoted to ministry spouses and their wellness. If you are a married church worker and your spouse does not currently receive “SED Connect,” please forward these articles or ask your spouse to sign up to receive them. We would love the opportunity to connect. Thank you.
Greetings and God’s peace, ministry spouses!
I’m excited you have found your way to this blog post. Please know that God has placed you on my heart and mind for some time. If you are the spouse of a pastor, Lutheran school principal or teacher, DCE, music director, preschool director or any other church worker, you have a front row seat to the joys and challenges of public ministry. I’ve been occupying my seat in the front row for 23 years. Please sit with me here for a few minutes.
I know I’m not breaking any news when I say that ministry spouses often bear the daily stress, burdens and highs and lows of ministry often without public affirmation, praise or even a thank you. I’ve heard it said that the spouse of a pastor (or other church worker) is the most thankless job in a congregation. I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but sometimes it sure does feel that way.
When I think about the demands of ministry life, I’m reminded of the oxygen mask demonstration before every airplane take-off. The flight attendant says something like this, “If you’re flying with a child or someone who needs help, please put your own oxygen mask on first before helping them with their mask.” As a mother and grandmother, this intuitively goes against my nature. Maybe you can relate. We so want to help others get their oxygen that we neglect our own. Sounds like a ministry spouse to me!
Just as our life depends on physical oxygen, our wellness as a ministry spouse depends on spiritual oxygen. Without God’s spiritual breath filling and fueling us, we can’t serve anyone well. Genesis 2:7 says, “the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” God’s living breath was given to us in creation. In John 20:21-22, after His resurrection, Jesus repeats this message of life when he tells his disciples, …”Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”
Through faith and our baptism, we have this precious gift–the breath of life that saves and sustains us–from our Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But if we’re being honest, we don’t always feel it. Sometimes as ministry spouses, we feel more like the dry bones of Israel during the Babylonian exile. But even in a dry-bones state, God offers His promise or grace and renewal. From Ezekial 37: 5-6, “This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.”
In his hymn “Breathe on Me, Breathe of God,” Edwin Hatch captures this desire for renewed breath of life through the Holy Spirit.
“Breathe on me, Breath of God,
fill me with life anew,
that I may love what thou dost love,
and do what thou wouldst do.”
The worship song, “Great Are You Lord,” by All Sons and Daughters says it this way:
“It’s Your breath in our lungs,
So we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise.
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to You only.”
So, how is your spiritual oxygen level right now as a ministry spouse? Are you in pouring-out-praise season filled with life anew or do you feel more like dry bones? Please hear that God desires life and breath and wellness for you! What would God’s renewed breath of life look like right now? Does it look like a consistent daily time of devotion and prayer, more rest and/or sleep, less responsibilities at church, more family time, a better diet and exercise routine, being able to afford time off or a vacation, genuine, life affirming friendships inside or outside of the church, connection with other ministry spouses?
No matter where you are on your wellness journey, it is my prayer that we can begin to walk together as ministry spouses of the Southeastern District to build community and support one another. Next week, we’ll continue the conversation. In the meantime, if you need a listening ear or are interested in future connections with other ministry spouses, please email me at donnathepastorswife@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you.
Your sister in Christ,
Donna Lippitt
Donna has been a pastor’s wife and ministry partner for 23 years in the Southeastern District. She and her husband, George, currently serve at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Midlothian, VA. Donna is a certified coach and lay deacon with the Southeastern District and serves on the Church Worker Wellness Team, specifically providing perspective as a church worker spouse. Donna and George have three grown children, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law, one granddaughter and another due at the end of September.