Wellness Wednesday – Growing in Your Spiritual Wellness Through Forgiveness
Last week, we explored how our perception of God’s nearness impacts our spiritual wellness. This week, we turn our focus to the second component of the GPS Spiritual Inventory: Personal – Your Level of Self-Differentiation. Self-differentiation is the ability to distinguish our own thoughts and feelings from those of others while remaining lovingly connected to them. It allows us to make wise and loving decisions without being overwhelmed by external pressures. Our truest identity is not determined by our families, jobs, or culture—it is received from God through faith in Jesus as His son or daughter. When we embrace our God-given identity, we are freed to live with confidence, clarity, and compassion.
One of the key markers of self-differentiation is forgiveness—both receiving it from God and extending it to others. Without forgiveness, we remain entangled in the expectations and wounds of others, unable to fully attach our lives to God.
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is essential for spiritual and emotional health. It is the gateway to healing, self-acceptance, and growth. When we receive God’s forgiveness, we begin to heal from shame and guilt. When we forgive others, we free ourselves from the burden of resentment and bitterness.
But let’s be honest—forgiveness is hard! Some of us struggle to forgive ourselves, weighed down by past mistakes. Others wrestle with forgiving those who have hurt us, holding on to pain and anger. Unforgiveness is like a clogged drain; it blocks the flow of God’s love in our lives and through our lives to others. Until we release the clogs of bitterness and resentment, we cannot experience the full, life-giving love God has for us in Jesus.
God’s attachment to us in Christ can never be broken, but unforgiveness can block our ability to receive and reflect His love. Sin distorts our sense of security in three key ways:
- A poor sense of self-worth – We struggle to believe we are worthy of love, especially God’s love.
- A lack of trust in others – We become exhausted from trying to do life alone.
- Unhealthy relational patterns – We repeat the models we were raised in, whether good or bad.
To fully attach to God, we must let go of anything that keeps us from His love—including unforgiveness. To forgive is to set free—to release our desire for punishment, whether for ourselves or others.
What Forgiveness Is (And What It Isn’t)
Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation (though forgiveness is the starting point that makes reconciliation possible). It does not mean submitting to ongoing harm or forgetting what has happened. It does not mean foregoing justice. Forgiveness is not weakness; it is strength. It restores your freedom, allowing you to heal and move forward.
Jesus gave His disciples, and us as His Church, an incredible gift: the power to forgive. In John 20:23, He says, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Beyond love, forgiveness is the greatest power we have—it makes love possible.
The Ripple Effect of Forgiveness
Forgiveness impacts every aspect of our wellness. Research shows that unforgiveness can take a serious toll on our physical health. Dr. Karen Swartz of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine states, “There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed.” Unforgiveness raises heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels, increasing the risk of depression, heart disease, and diabetes. Conversely, forgiveness reduces stress, strengthens relationships, and improves overall health and well-being.
Most importantly, forgiveness impacts our relational wellness. Jesus taught on the vital connection between forgiveness and our relationship with God: “Forgive, and you will be forgiven… But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiveness allows love to flow freely in our relationship with God and others. In his work “The Weight of Glory,” C.S. Lewis wrote on forgiveness, saying, “To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” If we are to live as God’s children—loving Him and loving our neighbors—we must embrace forgiveness in all its dimensions: receiving it from God, extending it to others, and offering it to ourselves.
Practicing Forgiveness
C.S. Lewis wrote in his classic “Mere Christianity, “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.” True forgiveness requires intentionality and God’s grace. Here are three steps to help you begin:
- Lean in – Immerse yourself in God’s love and the forgiveness He offers through Jesus.
- Let go – Release your thoughts and feelings of unforgiveness to God.
- Let love – Ask God to fill you with His love so that you may extend forgiveness to yourself and others.
Take the Next Step
Are you ready to intentionally invest in your spiritual wellness? The GPS Spiritual Inventory is a powerful tool designed to help you reflect on your spiritual health and identify areas for growth.
Click the link below to take the assessment and begin your journey toward greater spiritual health. Use the code “tguse” to take the inventory free of charge. Afterward, contact me to schedule a complimentary coaching session to debrief your results.
Take the GPS Spiritual Inventory
Let’s make 2025 a year of growth and transformation as we embrace God’s love, forgive freely, and walk confidently in our God-given identity in Christ.
