by Rev. Andrew Okai
When we hear the word health hazard, most of us think about things like smoking, polluted air, or unhealthy diets. But there’s a danger just as real—and perhaps even more damaging—that rarely makes it into public health discussions: unforgiveness.
From a biblical perspective, unforgiveness is not simply a moral issue; it’s a spiritual and emotional toxin that can affect our whole being—body, mind, and soul.
- Unforgiveness is a Spiritual Disease
Jesus could not have been clearer about the seriousness of holding grudges. In Matthew 6:14–15, He says:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This is more than a call to be “nice.” It’s a spiritual law—unforgiveness breaks our fellowship with God. When we choose to withhold forgiveness, we shut ourselves off from the flow of His mercy. Like a clogged artery, the channel of grace is blocked, and spiritual vitality suffers.
- The Physical Toll of Unforgiveness
Modern research confirms what Scripture has been telling us for centuries: bitterness can make us sick. Studies show that chronic resentment and emotional stress can lead to:
- Elevated blood pressure
- Weakened immune function
- Increased risk of heart disease
- Sleep disturbances
- Muscle tension and headaches
Proverbs 14:30 puts it succinctly:
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”
In other words, what festers in the heart eventually seeps into the body.
- Emotional and Mental Strain
Carrying unforgiveness is like dragging around a suitcase full of bricks. The weight is invisible, but the exhaustion is real. Resentment keeps our mind replaying the offense, fueling anxiety, depression, and irritability. Hebrews 12:15 warns:
“See to it… that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Bitterness is contagious. It doesn’t just harm the one holding it; it spills into relationships, poisoning trust and joy.
- The Biblical Prescription for Healing
God’s remedy for this health hazard is radical but effective: forgive as you have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). This is not about excusing wrong behavior or pretending the hurt never happened. Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release the offender into God’s hands, trusting Him to deal with justice.
When we forgive, we free ourselves from being emotionally tethered to the offense. This act of obedience doesn’t just restore our relationship with God—it restores our peace, improves our mental resilience, and even strengthens our physical health.
- Practical Steps Toward Freedom
If unforgiveness has been gnawing at your soul, here are some steps you can take:
- Pray honestly – Tell God exactly how you feel. Don’t sanitize your emotions. He can handle your raw honesty.
- Remember God’s mercy – Reflect on how much He has forgiven you; this makes it harder to justify withholding forgiveness from others.
- Release daily – Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. Keep releasing the offense whenever it resurfaces.
- Seek accountability – Share your struggle with a trusted believer who can pray with you and keep you grounded.
- Practice forgiveness – carry out acts of kindness towards the one who offended you.
An example of this happened about two years ago with one of our neighbors. My wife had gone to drop off our youngest daughter at school, and on her way back home, our neighbor hastily backed out of his driveway onto the main road that we all use to access our cul-de-sac. Not paying attention, he ran right into our brand-new 2023 Honda Pilot.
He was remorseful and apologized to her on the spot. Later, he called me, saying he was in touch with a mechanic he knew who could repair the car. But that evening, he called again and said he would not be taking responsibility for the accident. He claimed my wife had been turning into his driveway to back into ours, which we often did due to how our driveway is positioned.
We were furious—my wife, the kids, and I. As I considered how to handle the situation and ensure he paid for the damages, the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit interrupted my thoughts: “This is an opportunity to glorify the Lord.” It was a difficult decision, but I chose to follow His prompting.
I gathered my angry family and explained the plan as the Holy Spirit had laid it on my heart. Hesitantly, they agreed—we would love our neighbor as Christ commanded us to.
I began praying, asking the Lord to help me demonstrate His love to this neighbor. Things had gotten so tense that the neighbor and his family thought we might retaliate. They would peek out the door cautiously before darting into their vehicle. If any of us pulled into our driveway while they were outside, they would quickly rush back indoors.
This all took place during the winter months. I specifically prayed and asked the Lord to send a good amount of snow—because I was the only one in the neighborhood with a snowblower. A few days later, about five inches of snow fell.
Eager to show love, I got up at 6 a.m., bundled up, and cleared their entire driveway before touching mine. When I finished, I received a heartfelt text from him. He said I was an exceptionally different man and a good man.
That goodness, of course, wasn’t from me—it was the goodness that Jesus put in me. Left to myself, I would not have done something so kind. But through the Spirit’s leading, our relationship was not only restored—it grew stronger than it had ever been before.
Conclusion
Unforgiveness is a health hazard far more dangerous than we realize. It corrodes the soul, burdens the mind, and damages the body. But the Great Physician offers a cure: His own mercy poured into us so that we can pour it into others. When we choose forgiveness, we not only obey God’s Word—we choose life, peace, and spiritual health.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Rev. Dr. Andrew T. Okai is the pastor of Holy Nativity Lutheran Church in Baltimore Maryland. He currently serves as Circuit visitor for Circuit 5 in the Southeastern District – LCMS. He has served as Sole pastor of Holy Nativity for 16 years now. He has been married to his wife Precious for 30 years, and together they have three Children. He is currently authoring a book titled “The Character in Me” soon to be published.