by Rev. Dr. Travis Guse
As church workers and ministry leaders, how we lead impacts more than just our calendars and to-do lists – it shapes the very culture of our congregations. Our leadership style can either fuel unnecessary conflict and dependency or cultivate resilience, responsibility, and shared mission.
One of the most powerful shifts we can make is moving away from the Drama Triangle and into an Empowerment Mindset. Strong, healthy leaders reject drama as a way of operating and intentionally model a new way of relating that calls people to live into their God-given identity and gifts within the Body of Christ.
The Drama Triangle: A Recipe for Stalled Ministry
The Drama Triangle describes a way of relating that may feel familiar, especially in times of stress, change, or conflict. It consists of three unhealthy roles that feed on each other:
- Victim – “I can’t do anything about this.” Feels powerless, helpless, and easily hurt. Looks for someone to fix the problem—or to blame.
- Persecutor – “You’re the problem, and you need to change.” Blames, criticizes, and lectures without offering real solutions.
- Rescuer – “Let me fix this for you.” Jumps in to save others, but unintentionally fosters dependency and keeps problems from truly being solved.
If you’ve ever heard, “They’re always against me,” or “If only people would get their act together,” or “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it for you,” you’ve probably seen the Drama Triangle in action. And sometimes, the roles can shift in a single conversation – a Rescuer turns into a Victim, a Victim becomes a Persecutor, and the cycle continues.
The Empowerment Mindset: A Better Way
The alternative way we can operate that promotes health and wellness within the Body of Christ is operating instead out of an Empowerment Mindset, which reframes these roles in healthy, Christ-centered ways:
- Victim → Creator – “I can do this with God’s help.” Recognizes they are capable of taking action and finding solutions.
- Persecutor → Challenger – “You can do this.” Encourages growth and accountability, pushing people toward their potential.
- Rescuer → Coach – “How will you do it?” Supports others by asking good questions, offering guidance, and helping them develop their own resourcefulness.
Instead of fueling dependency or conflict, the Empowerment Mindset draws on the creativity and God-given gifts of everyone involved.
A Real-Life Congregational Example
Consider the case of a congregation’s worship team in conflict over music style.
- In the Drama Triangle, the Victim might be a long-time member saying, “No one cares about the hymns anymore.” The Persecutor could be a younger leader saying, “The older folks are holding us back.” And the Rescuer might be the pastor rushing in to appease both sides by personally making all the music choices, temporarily calming the waters but never addressing the root issues.
- In the Empowerment Mindset, the pastor instead steps in as a Coach, facilitating a conversation where each person identifies what they value in worship. The younger leader becomes a Challenger, inviting the group to think creatively about how to blend styles in a way that honors both tradition and new expressions. The older member shifts into a Creator role, suggesting ways hymns could be incorporated meaningfully alongside new songs. Now, instead of being stuck in blame and dependency, the team works together to design worship that reflects the unity of the body.
Why This Matters for Healthy Congregations
When leaders embrace an Empowerment Mindset, they:
- Model maturity – Showing that challenges can be addressed without blame or enabling.
- Build capacity – Empowering others to take responsibility and use their gifts.
- Reduce burnout – Leaders no longer feel they must solve every problem themselves.
- Strengthen unity – Shifting from “us vs. them” to “we are in this together.”
In Ephesians 4:12, Paul reminds us that our role as leaders is “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.” Moving from the Drama Triangle to an Empowerment Mindset is one practical way we live that out – helping our people grow into the fullness of who God has called them to be, and creating a culture where the whole congregation is empowered to serve.
Coaching Questions To Reflect On
Where in my ministry or congregation do I see the Drama Triangle at play, and what role might I be unintentionally stepping into?
What would it look like for me to intentionally step into the Creator, Challenger, or Coach role in that situation – and how might that shift the culture toward empowerment?