Wellness Wednesday – “Finding Meaning Outside-In Or Inside-Out?”
For this Wellness Wednesday blog, we continue unpacking Martin Seligman’s PERMA-V (PERMA+) well-being model by once again examining the “M” for “Meaning.” Last week, we explored some ideas to experience more meaning in your life to help improve your overall wellness and the importance of understanding your “why.” The ultimate question we will consider together in this blog is, “Where does real meaning in life come from – do we find our ultimate sense of meaning in life outside-in or inside-out?”
Let me explain what I mean by this question. Many in our culture seek to derive their primary meaning in life from the areas of responsibility in the network of relationships and callings around them in life. We might consider these the “boxes of life” or theologically what Luther calls life’s “stations” – family, church, career, and society. While God intends these stations to help infuse our lives with meaning, it becomes problematic when we seek our ultimate sense of meaning through these various boxes of life. Like a beautifully wrapped present, our culture promises that we can find our identity, happiness, safety, stability, and fulfillment within these boxes.
And let’s admit it – even as followers of Jesus, we are tempted to find our ultimate sense of meaning, purpose, and identity in these pursuits as well. However, what happens when these boxes don’t deliver on their promises? What happens when we don’t find the happiness we once did in our marriages and with our families to relational difficulties? What happens when we do not find fulfillment in our ministries like we once did due to the daily challenges we experience? What happens when our congregation struggles with the adaptive challenges many churches face today, and there is not the same stability and success as there once was? And what happens when growing societal problems impact our neighborhood and community, making them less safe than they once were? What happens then to our ultimate sense of meaning, purpose, and identity? These boxes can leave us feeling rather empty since they do not deliver on their promises as they once did, seriously impacting our overall well-being.
In the face of these experiences where meaning is hard to find in our various callings in life, we need a new approach – an inside-out rather than an outside-in approach. Frederic Hudson, one of the fathers of the field of life and professional coaching, argues for this inside-out approach to finding meaning in life when he writes, “To succeed as human beings in the twenty-first century, we need to be on-purpose persons, shaping our actions in the world with our inner beliefs. Our many roles as an adult—at work, home, play, community, and the rest—are meant to be extensions of our inner selves—our core values.” At the heart of what Hudson is saying is that rather than trying to find our meaning in people, activities, positions, and responsibilities, we need to find a higher calling that flows from within us that can transform us from black holes sucking the life out of everything and everyone around us into shining stars that can give life to all in our daily vocations.
Due to the many adaptive challenges and changes in our world today, there must be something else to anchor our ultimate sense of meaning, purpose, and identity in life rather than these outward boxes. That anchor is our vertical calling by grace through faith in Jesus that transforms us from the inside out, infusing us with a holy meaning, purpose, and identity in life that the changing world around us cannot give. From our faith in Jesus flows our inward beliefs and values that influence how we live out our horizontal callings in our various areas of responsibilities in life, no matter how much change and challenges we experience. These beliefs and values, in turn, serve as “gyroscopes” that keep us balanced in life and “radar” to analyze the best ways to live out our calling in Christ in love and service to our neighbors in all of life’s boxes, helping us explore the best choices as we navigate an ever-changing world around us.
